Some women get together and list all the flaws of their husbands, rip them apart, laugh, joke and make fun of them.
What about the women that complain about their husband right in front of them – almost like he can’t hear? You know he totally can hear every word! You see their posture change as they literally seem deflated right before your eyes.
And the worst- those that flat out tell you they married for money, status, to have kids… and treat their spouse like trash.
Early in our marriage we had this one friend that just loved to bash husbands and John included. She would get on a soapbox and just rip men up. One day I’d had enough and I decided to take her to lunch and explain that as his wife I felt it was really toxic to my marriage if I sat and complained about my husband for several hours a week. I told her how much I loved her as a friend, but we would need to find new ways to connect or I just wouldn’t be able to hang out with her anymore. She decided to stop talking to me… I literally lost a friend because I wouldn’t bash my husband!
Trust and Honor
It seems simple, but your partner for life should be able to trust that you are going to honor them. When everything else in the world seems to be against them, they should have that trust that you are standing with them and you will honor them in all circumstances.
No matter what you are loyal to him and in your eyes even if something goes wrong, you are together and respect his ability to lead your family through anything. This doesn’t mean your opinions and contributions are less… it just means you respect his and he knows it.
Basic Respect
If you love someone you respect them. You may not like everything they do, but your love for them is deep enough that you respect their reputation. In fact you love them so much that you want to defend their character. There is a beautiful book called Love and Respect by ……. . In this book the author talks about how women want to be loved, treasured and feel the expression of that love. Meanwhile, men generally, feel loved when they are respected.
Men receive love completely differently than we think!
This book completely changes the way that you express the love you have in a way they receive!
WOMEN- WE MESS THIS UP SO BAD!!
While we think… I said I loved him, we hug every day several times, we watch tv together, I give him time to workout, I made him his favorite dinner, I even wrote a whole prayer for him in my journal today! All he wants… is to know that you are with him in the decision he made to take a risk on an investment at work. You appreciate the extra hours he puts in. You acknowledge the phone call he took on Sunday to get that deal. You respect his decision on discipline of your 12 year old. You support his lead in what church he thinks the family should go to. HE KNOWS YOU LOVE HIM BY THE RESPECT YOU GIVE.
Bonding is not Bashing
Women, we must unite in respecting our husbands, Honoring them with our words. If our connection to one another is tearing someone else down… that is disgusting and evil. We are so much more than that! I challenge you this year to really watch for this in your “girl groups”. Our bond as women needs to be on positive, uplifting things!
Being Different Isn’t being Less…
Our culture is very intentional about women being uplifted, respected and not looked as as less than men. That’s very important! This is not about that. We can be uplifted, respected and powerful AND respect our husbands. We do not dishonor or disrespect women by respecting and honoring men.
