Journey Inspired

Parent’s Best Solution for “the talk”

It seems earlier than ever before we must have “the talk” with our children. If we don’t the world will. In our house conversations about all these things had to begin early because of some of the environments our girls were in. Now, think about that for a moment. We home school. We are members of the local church. The only other interaction our girls had with the “world” was at my dance studio or their gym.

I was pretty sure I had sufficiently bubble wrapped them so I could put off those conversations for as long as possible. And then one day, the questions started. I really didn’t want to stumble along and make everything really awkward and weird! We wanted a way to provide Biblical, loving, honest answers that would set a solid foundation for their lives.

So… um…. now what?

I was talking to a friend who I deeply respect about what they did with their daughter.- (Because that is how I parent… I steal ideas from other great parents) Passport to Purity was their recommendation, so I ordered the kit and dove in to check it out.

This post contains affiliate links *which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link.*

Passport2Purity® Getaway Kit by FamilyLife – Version 3

It’s set up so that moms take daughters (or dads take sons) on a short retreat to work through the materials. You listen to sessions, discuss, do some guided activities to bring life to concepts and then take fun breaks! We went to a fancy hotel with a water park and fancy restaurants.

As I worked through the material I discovered there were so many HUGE concepts it tackled!!! There was so much more content there than just “the talk”.

Friendships

The dynamics and drama of middle school girls is enough to make you want to pull your hair out. With Passport to Purity, there are several sessions on navigating these relationships with grace and maturity.

Boyfriends/Girlfriends

We believe dating is for the specific purpose of having a lasting relationship with someone that will partner with you in life. While the culture embraces dating as early as elementary school… we do not and I really needed some tools to help explain to the girls why we have a different “normal”.

We found that Passport to Purity helped us define what dating is and what boundaries they want to make as a young men or women. What I really loved about this section was that it began the conversations and let us come up with our own strategy for our home. It asks tough questions and helps you to be intentional about what the expectations are. We found that having a plan before they got to this issue was so important!

All the Tough Topics

We really wanted to express the truth of the Word AND the love of God for all people, to our girls. There are a lot of really tough topics regarding growing up and sexuality. What we loved about Passport to Purity is that it speaks truth AND it speaks love- giving you great tools and information for the things that we MUST talk about with our kids. It starts the conversations that will continue as they mature.

Set the Standard High

One of my favorite things about Passport to Purity is that it sets the standard very high regarding purity. In seeking God’s plan for dating relationships you can remain sexually pure until you are married. Some might say it’s impossible in this culture, but we say nothing is impossible with Christ. At the end of the sessions, your teen will have the opportunity to make a pledge of purity. What is beautiful about this is -they think through trusting God, their parents and their future spouse with their heart. This team will partner with them to guard their heart until the time comes to say, “I do”.

The curriculum helps them understand that this commitment to remain pure may make you feel weird or different from those around them. You are not weird! You simply have made a personal choice about your body, faith, mental and physical health that some people choose not to make.

This post comes from a Christian perspective. If that is not your faith, there are things you can still enjoy from it. I never mean to exclude, only speak from my perspective. thanks for reading!

Passport2Purity® Getaway Kit by FamilyLife – Version 3

Ask Me!

I’m so passionate about what this program has done for my girls that I’d love to walk you through any concerns. I’d even be happy to help facilitate your group or help you organize your special weekend. Just ask!

Spilled Glitter

When the girls were little we had this special room we did school in. It was painted this really happy yellow and had cute hot pink lockers, real school desks, and a whiteboard. We LOVED our “yellow room”! One day I spilled gold glitter all over the inside of my desk drawer. It was a huge mess- AND it was so beautiful! We stopped and looked at it and decided to leave it as decoration!

I once blew up an inflatable ball pit for them to use in our playroom because it had rained for so many days. I remember almost passing out and seeing spots as they squealed and jumped.

At bedtime, we used to act out the day so they knew what we had to do the next day. I’d pretend to swim, dance, play piano, cook, drive… all really fast until they were giggling. Then we would read Little Quack and I Love You Forever. I’d always cry at the end of I Love you Forever- so Trinity made up a funny song so I’d laugh and tickle them instead.

Tonight I’ve been thinking a lot about the precious memories I have of my girls being little. See, we are getting to the age with Trinity that some of her friends are graduating, we are talking colleges, career paths and even what she wants an apartment to look like someday! She’s learning to drive and schedules her own social things now. Everything is changing…

I’ve cried at every birthday because I SO very much don’t want each part of their lives to change. I could live forever with them ages 5 and 3… or 8 and 6… or 13 and 11! It’s not that I don’t look forward to what is next, it’s just I really LOVE where we are! Can’t we just stay here a bit longer?

The moments we are living in today are so fast and full of busy-ness, but they are the memories we will treasure in just a short time. So as I reflect on this I want to be more intentional about laughing together, hearing their voices, seeing the wonder in their eyes, being excited with them about things that are new to them, and seeing the beauty in the spilled glitter.

Dr Pepper on the Ceiling

I have this mental rule… I’ll only make one trip from the car to the kitchen with groceries. This gets me in trouble sometimes.

I carried at least 6 bags of groceries on each arm. My then, 4 and 2 year olds carried a few things. We plop the bags down on the kitchen floor and BOOM- the Dr Pepper takes off like a rocket! It flies up in the air, spraying the ceiling, the walls and then it lands on the ground and shoots across the kitchen floor spilling every last drop all over the baseboards and floor. I’m sure our eyes were like full moons. I remember looking at Trinity and her eyes meeting mine and we just burst out laughing.

After a few minutes my laughter became tears. I began to cry because the cleanup seemed so overwhelming. Be honest, 2 and 4 year old kids are not the best at cleaning Dr Pepper. It had streaked the walls, splattered the ceiling and coated the baseboards. Everything within sight was sticky! Who knew there was so much Dr Pepper in one bottle! We cleaned and cleaned, but it was so difficult to find all the places the Dr Pepper had infiltrated. In fact, I’m pretty sure there were a few splatters still on those walls when we sold the house.

Opportunity in Chaos

Looking back, I see so many opportunities that God allows our kids to see the how we handle chaos. It’s in these moments of chaos that we have an opportunity to teach our kids how to respond. To a child these moments make us seem a bit more real, a bit like them and we can share a moment of connection. Being honest about how you feel in a moment will give them the tools to know how to be honest about their emotions too. We have to in these moments teach them by example how to have all the emotions, but not to let the emotions run us.

It’s okay to laugh… it’s okay to cry…

It’s not okay to scream and blame people,

It’s not okay to give up and just run away.

We need to find ways to show them that it’s okay to laugh at mistakes. It’s okay to feel overwhelmed. They need to see that adults make mistakes too and we have to clean up messes. We are creating a relationship of honesty and trust that will carry them into middle and high school.

Looking Ahead

In the tween/teen years we want them to share their emotions and experiences with us. They need to have seen the example of us sharing with them so that it’s just normal that we talk and share because that is what we have always done. It’s not something you can suddenly build when they are 13. Trust takes time.

Our kids also need to know that we aren’t so “perfect” that we can’t relate to what they are going through or thinking. We need to have shared dozens of reality moments- from the hilarious to the heartbreaking with them. Letting them see us vulnerable, real and coping with things. Then they will have this deep rooted sense of security and relationship with us that allows them to be vulnerable, real and cope with things WITH US!

Application for Preschool and Elementary

Look for opportunity in your chaos. When there is a huge mess, take time to show your child how to break the work down, laugh about it, make it fun and stick in until it’s finished. If your feelings get hurt about an invitation to an event you can say, “I’m sad because I thought I’d be invited to this event and I wasn’t”. Maybe you go through a loss, and while you are grieving you can walk through some of those big emotions with your child. Share your life with them (at age appropriate levels of course) so that they see by example the tools that you use to manage chaos.

They need to have laughed, cried and cleaned Dr Pepper off the ceiling with you… so when their “Dr Pepper chaos” happens they are ready!

Stop Stressing over Weekday Meals

Balanced diet. Healthy eating, clean and detox concept with fresh fruits, vegetables, superfood and chicken meat. Top view, flat lay with copy space

A rotisserie chicken? Some cans of soup? A run through a fast food? What’s for dinner on these busy weeknights of the school year? I know, even those of us that like to cook- it can become this burden! We totally stress to find something new, yummy, kid approved, healthy and FAST!

A friend of mine introduced me to something life changing, time saving and AMAZING! This website changed the way I shop, the amount of $$$ we spend on food, we eat healthier AND it takes the burden out of feeding your family!

Changes how you shop!

For years I would go into the store with a sketchy list of what I was going to cook. Usually it would be for a couple days, maybe a week if I was really ambitious. I’d let impulse buys and new ideas take over. I would end up at home with about 90% of what I needed and about thirty items I didn’t. This website I’m going to introduce to you creates a grocery list for you based on the meals you put into your weekly plan. The list is organized by department in the store. You can take this list on your shopping trip OR even better… sit on your couch and place your online order directly from your list!

Save $$$

If it’s almost time to eat and I haven’t planned: it’s going to be takeout. Just being honest, DoorDash drivers know me. When you start to add up all the drive through, take out, delivery meals it really can be a lot. I want those things to be rare splurges because I want that money to go to other things!

Eat Healthier

With just a tiny bit of planning – (seriously it only takes about 15-20 minutes once a week once you have it set up) you can make choices that are healthy! We all want to build the healthy eating habits in our kids and we have to take some intentional steps in order for that to happen.

SO… What is it?

Click on the image to be redirected to their website.

Here is how it works. You copy and paste any recipes you want to use into the site and within about ten seconds it has a grocery list prepped for that recipe. If you want to enter family recipes manually you totally can… I pay my 13 year old to do that when she wants to make some extra cash.

Once you have a bunch of recipes loaded in, you go to the “plan” tab and schedule when you want to eat what. You can move things around, block out meals when you know you won’t be home- it’s super flexible and easy. For meals that are not a recipe for example, cereal. You just enter the items you need and click add to shopping list or not. Within about ten minutes you have a week of meals planed.

Then, just click on “shop” and it generates the list! I print my list and add stuff I need that is not a meal… like milk, juice, deodorant, etc… Then, I sit down with that list and put everything into my weekly online order. I go the next morning and pick everything up.

Extra Tips

Plan some time to set up the site for your family- you need to get a good set of recipes in there to start from or you will have to slow down each week to do this.
When you are up late scrolling Pinterest- use the tabs PlanToEat gives you to load those meals in RIGHT THEN!
Do the tutorial at the beginning. It’s short but it shows you where everything is and tons of benefits I didn’t take time for here.
You can share with friends and family! Check out that awesome feature.
Click the “Challenges” tab to see all kinds of recipes and ideas!

Age Appropriate Chores

How do we train up kids that have skills they will need to be successful adults? Where do we start?

Initially, it takes effort on the parent’s part to begin the process. They are going to need help- “doing” the chore. Yes, it would be easier for you to just go fill the dog dish with water. BUT- the character it builds in your child is worth the extra few minutes and the possible spills. As you work with your kids in each phase- you are not looking for perfection. You are looking to teach, train and lead them along the way.

It’s important to keep reminding yourself this is the first time they have carried water in a bowl across a room, this is the first time they have scrubbed a plate, this is the first time they wash the clothes. You have done these things hundreds of times, but they haven’t. In fact, a few months ago they weren’t even capable- so give them very detailed and patient instruction. In time you’ll see them do things well, but it takes practice!

As you teach these chores, take time to teach them these skills they will use their whole lives! Invest in this as much as you do in memorizing the multiplication tables!

Here is a simple list – there are far more extensive ones online – But this gets you started!

Preschool 3-5

carry laundry
match socks
put shoes away
pick up toys
fill water dish for pets
sort silverware
wipe counter
feed pet
carry groceries

Early School Age 5-8

set table
put away laundry
load dishwasher
water plants
get mail
take out trash
wash window
clean shower/tub

Middle School and Tween

Fold Laundry
Vacuum
Sweep
Wash Car
Wash/Dry Clothes
Clean Bathroom
Pull Weeds
Plant Flowers
Scan Documents
Babysit

High School

Organize closet
Clean out area for donations – outgrown items
Clean out garage
Plan and Cook a Meal
Pay Bills and Basic Accounting for Family

Tools that helped us!

There is this amazing system called Accountability Kids that we used with our kids when they were 3-8. It’s basically a pegboard that has these cards with tasks that you hang in their room. As they do a task they move the card to the “finished” peg. They can earn money, rewards and just feel so accomplished as they do their tasks for each day. It gave our schedule so much routine and predictability! They could look each day and see exactly what was going to be happening. http://accountablekids.com/
BUSYKID APP and debit card. As our kids got older we wanted to teach them more about the value of work/money and how far money really goes when you want the VANS! This app allows parents to attach a monetary value to each chore. The kids have to be responsible and check off what chores they did. Parents then go in and approve the “income generated” and it goes into an account each week. They can save, give or put the money on a debit card they can use anywhere. IT’S AMAZING! https://busykid.com/

I don’t make anything off of these links- I just really want you to have them!

Staycation Date Night

The reality is there are moments we can connect with our spouse, but it’s after a long day and the idea of going out isn’t really appealing. In fact, staying in is exactly where you want to be. We actually treasure the quiet moments in the home we have created.

What if once or twice a month you did something a bit different and actually had a “Date Night” in your living room after the kids go to bed! A step up from another episode of Friends and talking about the “to-do” list for the weekend…right?

What if everything you need for a night like that was already planned for you and you just had to add a few snacks to the grocery list?

Why Connect

Often the world gets the best of us and what is leftover is what our spouse gets. We blink and weeks have gone by and our best conversation was about bedroom paint colors. If we don’t invest in this relationship we will find that the distance and priority of other people has created a gap in our relationship that becomes wider with time. None of us want to look up in 18 years and realize we barely even know the love of our life anymore.

Application

There are some awesome games, conversation starters, date night escape room kits, and other resources out there! You can make intentional plans to do something fun and inexpensive.

Just a few ideas

scavenger hunt,
play cards
pack some homeless care packages for your cars
cook together
read a book together
learn how to dance from a YouTube video
take a picnic outside on the patio
grab a canvas and some paint and create something for your house

If you need some inspiration -check out a few of these great links! This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link.

A fun night of cold case detective work.

Conversation starters to help you connect about things beyond the kids and the office.

A book containing 52 ideas for a year full of weekly inexpensive date nights from home!

Put it on your calendar and commit to it. Just like you would if it were a business meeting or an appointment at the kid’s doctor. This is important so make it a priority!

Quick to Listen

When my kids were little (3-5ish) we had these phrases – they were shortened, simplified character traits from verses of the Bible. “Be Quick to Listen”and “Care more about others than you do about yourself” are just a couple. I would chant these exact phrases – hundreds- possibly millions of times when I saw opportunity to teach the lesson.

What we found is that when we focused on one trait repetitively for several weeks the kids really started to take hold of the concept. They could point out to us when they needed to be “quick to listen”- or when doing something nice for someone would be a way to “care more about others than you do about yourself.

I don’t think there was anything magical about what we were doing. The exact repetition applied and was used in so many daily examples that they knew it exactly what it “looked” like AND exactly why it was important to us. Don’t ignore other behaviors, just look for a way to integrate the virtue you are focused on into the correction. Instead of being all over the place with things we wanted to correct and build, we had a targeted goal and a unified approach.

Now, my girls are teenagers and often I point back to these phrases- (which can cause eyes to roll) It reminds them of the character they already have. We just have new applications for them as young women. The foundation is simple, but runs deep. Character provides something firm for them to be anchored in as their world expands in many more directions.

Application-

Choose a virtue- patience, kindness, polite manners, honesty… whatever you see your kiddo struggling with.
Create a short phrase that is easy to understand and repeat. (Sometimes it helps to look at a few Bible verses to get ideas for how/why it’s important).
Then… ready for it… repeat… repeat… repeat… explain… repeat… repeat… explain… repeat… as many times as possible for 2 weeks.
Start looking for times to let them finish the phrase… then start looking for times to ask- what should we do when we see this happen?
Start another virtue- but don’t forget the old ones! Work them into daily life – with simple reminders. If you see a behavior creep back in- go back and take time on an old one.

Make the investment now into their character- a little bit at a time, consistently every day. You’ve got this!

What virtue are you going to focus on first?

Best solutions for Mom Burnout

These 15 minutes can help prevent mom burnout! Retreat, refresh and reconnect so you stay filled up!

Being a mom is all about repetition. We get in cycles: feed, play, feed, clean kitchen, laundry, play, clean up toys. No matter what the cycle it seems endless and allows for very little of “you” to be expressed. In fact you begin to feel that really anyone could do this and no one really notices how incredibly hard you are working to keep these toddlers from exploding. Doing these 3 things each day will really help you avoid “mom burnout”!

Retreat…. Refresh…Reconnect

5 Minute Spiritual Retreat

As much as you want to sleep through until the kids wake up, the frantic-ness that follows trying to catch up with their needs can set a terrible tone for your day. A hot cup of coffee, a short devotional and spiritual reset with just a few minutes of peace can put you in a great place to tackle the day. When those little ones get up and start the cycle you are ready and in a good mental space to start their day. I’ve done a lot of devotionals but this one is my favorite! It puts my thoughts on something bigger than myself at the beginning of each day AND it leads you through a prayer to help take the ideas to the next level!

This post contains affiliate links, which means I receive a small commission, at no extra cost to you, if you make a purchase using this link.

5 Minute Refresh

There are days that taking a shower is the biggest luxury! Being able to be alone for those precious minutes with hot water steaming around you… You breathe deep. It’s quiet (when you ignore OR blast music to drown out the kid at the bathroom door shouting “MOM!”). You have two thoughts in a row that are your own, and for just a moment you smell like flowers instead of spit up or sweat from being soccer mom.

Add a 5 minute “Spa” Treatment to your shower time to give yourself just a little reboost. It can be inexpensive- like a couple drops of peppermint oil on a washcloth and deep breathing. A bottle of essential oil can last for several months and has SO many other uses!

One of my favorites is a mud mask from the Dead Sea! I LOVE this Mud Mask – When our family went to Israel we found that many people market that it’s “Dead Sea” but they have all kinds of fillers and additives that they put in. This is 100% Dead Sea Mud. Your skin will feel like silk!

6oz. 100% All Natural Pure Dead Sea Mud from Israel NO Fillers for Face and Body

5 Minute Reconnect

Maintaining connections with the people that bring us inspiration, creativity and laughter can be really difficult when you are on mom duty 24/7. You have to get super creative to connect and stay connected to real live adults. If you don’t, the only conversations you have for days could be about the dollhouse birthday party drama or the pirate ship takeover of all the Lego people.

Here are 5 ways you can reconnect this week! None of them take more than 5 minutes and it doesn’t matter what time of the day you do it- so there are NO EXCUSES.

Snail Mail- Write a sweet note of encouragement to another mom. Use pretty paper and a fancy pen.
Social Media- scroll through and intentionally find a friend that has a life event or exciting post- new job, kid did something cool, great trip… anything that catches your eye. Private message them and comment something positive that starts a conversation.
Create a playlist for your spouse to listen to on their way to work or during the day. (Think old school mixtape- but much easier)
When you make a meal- make one extra and tell a friend to come grab it – You don’t even have to leave the house!
Write out a prayer for someone you love. Take a picture of it and send it to them!

The Last Thing You Need to Know about Mom Burnout

These children are fun! These moments are special! These tasks bless my family! AND… you have unique gifts and talents that can bless not only this family, but many others if you stay filled up. One of our pastors recently said it like this, “If you are filled up, you have plenty to pour out.” So moms, keep filling up!

A moment for…

What would you do if I told you the entire day is yours to chase a dream? I’m not talking about catching up on laundry, sleeping, running errands… but something that is near to your heart that you almost have forgotten because it seems so out of reach. What injustice or social issue does your heart ache for, but all your energy goes to keeping toddlers breathing and fed?

A Practical Plan

The only way to fit these dreams into your life is to make it happen in small increments that are practical. Carve out just 15 minutes for this “thing” that is uniquely you. Read up on legislation that is being introduced and call a senator, jot down some family recipes that you want to publish in a cookbook, learn to play the piano, plan a playdate. Whatever it is, set aside a time and do it!- no excuses! This gets priority on your schedule just like a dentist appointment for your kids would.

When 15 minutes becomes easy- double it!

Excuses?

I bet you already have three reasons you can’t do this running through your head. “I’m too busy”, “I can’t because I have to…”- right? Here is where your desire for this change has to be stronger than your excuses. So, that time you spend on social media?- cut it down a little. Cook ahead for a day or two to free up some time later in the week. Instead of the binge watch of your show on Netflix after kids go to bed, you only watch 1 episode and spend the other time investing in what’s uniquely you.

Share your Journey!

One of my dreams is to play the cello. For a long time I made excuses, but then one Mother’s Day my husband bought me a cello. We made finding time for me to learn a priority. I’m terrible and it’s so much harder than i thought- but I’m doing it!

What is something that is uniquely you that you are going to prioritize?

Hi! I’m Leia!

I’m so excited to meet you and share this amazing adventure! My name is Leia and I’ve been married for 20 years! Wow typing that makes me feel old- We have two daughters 15 and 13 and three pets – Rex our King Cavalier, Bella my daughter’s cat and Mocha- my dream chocolate lab. Our house is busy and fun and we live life to the fullest… sometimes a bit too full, but we enjoy the chaos. I love to scrapbook, read, travel and host events.

I grew up dancing and became a professional ballet dancer very young. I stayed in that for almost 20 years and still teach and coach at the studio my mom opened when I was 12. We love working together and I treasure the time I get to invest in our students.

For a few awesome years I got to also direct a preschool ministry at at local church. As a part of the that time I hosted a LOT of events for moms with little ones and led a MOPS ministry. Through that time I realized there are a lot of moms out there drowning in the day to day of being mom. With great intentions but very little sleep… I saw these moms thrive when they found connection with other moms. I saw them achieve goals, dream big and go for things as a result of inspiring speakers and friendships they found with other moms. Marriages were restored and miracles seemed to happen almost every week. When my time came to an end in that ministry due to my kids being older and needing me to focus elsewhere- I found myself still really wanting to minister to women in this season of motherhood. The season of busy, repetition, losing yourself in caring for others, trying to be a good wife and not just sustain but invest in your marriage… The season of “it’s time to feed them again”, “when did I last shower”, and “I have so many dreams… and no time”.

I believe that with a willing heart, God will use me to inspire and lift up other women so that they can create, achieve and do so much more than survive this season of life. The journey can bring so much joy!