When my kids were little (3-5ish) we had these phrases – they were shortened, simplified character traits from verses of the Bible. “Be Quick to Listen”and “Care more about others than you do about yourself” are just a couple. I would chant these exact phrases – hundreds- possibly millions of times when I saw opportunity to teach the lesson.
What we found is that when we focused on one trait repetitively for several weeks the kids really started to take hold of the concept. They could point out to us when they needed to be “quick to listen”- or when doing something nice for someone would be a way to “care more about others than you do about yourself.
I don’t think there was anything magical about what we were doing. The exact repetition applied and was used in so many daily examples that they knew it exactly what it “looked” like AND exactly why it was important to us. Don’t ignore other behaviors, just look for a way to integrate the virtue you are focused on into the correction. Instead of being all over the place with things we wanted to correct and build, we had a targeted goal and a unified approach.
Now, my girls are teenagers and often I point back to these phrases- (which can cause eyes to roll) It reminds them of the character they already have. We just have new applications for them as young women. The foundation is simple, but runs deep. Character provides something firm for them to be anchored in as their world expands in many more directions.
Application-
- Choose a virtue- patience, kindness, polite manners, honesty… whatever you see your kiddo struggling with.
- Create a short phrase that is easy to understand and repeat. (Sometimes it helps to look at a few Bible verses to get ideas for how/why it’s important).
- Then… ready for it… repeat… repeat… repeat… explain… repeat… repeat… explain… repeat… as many times as possible for 2 weeks.
- Start looking for times to let them finish the phrase… then start looking for times to ask- what should we do when we see this happen?
- Start another virtue- but don’t forget the old ones! Work them into daily life – with simple reminders. If you see a behavior creep back in- go back and take time on an old one.
Make the investment now into their character- a little bit at a time, consistently every day. You’ve got this!
What virtue are you going to focus on first?
