Mom, Teacher, Nurse, Chef, CEO, Ballerina… are titles- titles we treasure and often work hard to gain. While they define what we do for large blocks of time, they do not define our identity. These are avenues by which our identity may flow, but they do not solely define us. There is so much more to us than one title!
What happens when you stop being whatever that title is?… do you no longer have purpose? OF COURSE NOT! You will most likely have numerous titles over a lifetime that provide opportunities for you to live out that purpose.
Throughout life your titles, labels and roles will change/evolve, but your purpose/identity will be consistent: it may just look different during different seasons of life.
My Own Crisis
When I was about 35 I injured my back. I was no longer able to perform as a ballerina. Now, for about 20 years that was my title- “Ballerina” and it was really difficult for me to disconnect “ME” from “Ballerina”. To transition out of that mindset I really prayed that God would help take away my NEED to BE a ballerina in order to feel successful or valuable. . My identity very much was wrapped up in that title. The truth was that my title was changing- but not my purpose.
The challenge was that I had associated so much of my worth and value in being a “ballerina”. AND YET- my body was so done… For the first time ever I had to back out of a performance. I attended rehearsals with heat patches on my back hoping I could just get warm enough to work and then I’d cry in pain on the drive home. I couldn’t sit up straight or even sleep because I was in so much pain. I could literally feel my bones grinding against each other… but I wouldn’t stop because I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED being a ballerina!!!!
Aside from the lights, glamour, glitter, tutus… it’s brutal work and to do it for so many years is just A LOT- especially when you add having babies on that. Your body just can only do so much. I struggled those last years to hold it all together!
Clarity and What’s Next?
I began to pray that God would help remove my “NEED” to be on stage, that my heart would let go of this- because I just didn’t want to. One night I was performing Paquita – with my amazing partner of over 10 years and while we stood posed on stage during a section where the company danced… I literally looked across the stage and into the audience and thought, “this is it… I’m done… and it’s okay. This isn’t all I am and it’s okay to be done”.
I DID FINISH that performance! and strong- I remember thinking what a celebration right now! I’m done and I’m so happy and GOD IS SO GOOD to meet me in this moment and give me grace for my heart to move to what is next!
My purpose in ballet was (and is) to creatively use movement to express emotions and stories for people to enjoy and grow from. As a “Ballerina” that came out in the action of performing. As a “choreographer”, “teacher”, “director” – the purpose still is the same- it just looks different. While there are aspects of performance/training that I miss, I have such a larger platform now to influence and inspire!
If we wrap our identity in one title we could TOTALLY miss so many other opportunities from which our purpose could flow from us!
Finding it…
Specifically finding where your gifts and passions meet God’s heart for people is where you find these answers.
There are tons of resources out there to help you narrow down, identify, focus, dream, and define a statement of purpose. The actual statement probably isn’t as important as the process of praying, seeking, investigating and reflecting on exactly what God has put you here to uniquely partner with HIM to do.
I worked on this on a mission trip in Ireland about 18 years ago. I had a ton of notes, a gifting test, a prayer journal, and a friend/mentor. After some time, I composed a statement. Then I reworded a few things, looked for better descriptive words to make it more “me” and then ran with it! I even adjust it a bit from time to time when I discover more about myself! There was not a voice from heaven booming down telling me this statement… but the process of spending time asking God got me there.
Here’s Mine- To use hospitality, arts and creativity to inspire and create opportunity for others to explore their relationship with God and bring glory to Christ.
Choices Become Easier
When you have this purpose in mind, choices become easier. If it lines up with your statement you consider the possibility far more than things that do not. You have this filter with which you can look at things and determine if it’s something that is uniquely you!
Resources
Here are a few resources that can help, but remember the real resource is time talking to the One that made you! The first one is what I used to get started… the second is helping me fine tune and redefine 20 years later!
YOU NEED BOTH OF THESE BOOKS IN YOUR LIFE
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Special thanks to Richard Rejino for all the dance photography that captured that wonderful time of my life. Now he captures my students as they carry on from here!
